My Inner Woman has PMS, My Inner Child is Teething, and My Inner Voice Has Laryngitis

plus a million other things that give me a headache.

Soylent Green is Make-Up! November 23, 2009

In Memory of all the Grand Women Victimized by Body-Image

In Memory of All the Grand Women Victimized by Body-Image

I’m not sure if you missed it.  I’m not sure how you could.  It made me lose my lunch, when the Twitter-verse started Tweeting about the Peruvian crime ring selling human fat from their victims for use by Cosmetic Companies.  If there was ever a reason to check labels carefully and check the contents of your cosmetics, this is it.  But my mind didn’t stop processing the information on that thought alone.  Immediately, I thought, wait… Where there are buyers there is demand, where there is demand there have to be suppliers, and it’s highly unlikely these Peruvians gangs are solely responsible for supplying that market.  Consider what I am saying here.  What do so many women rush to do now a day?  Liposuction.  That’s right.  Think about it.  How many women (and men) around the world have gone and butchered themselves, paid for the service, of removing unwanted fat from their bodies?

I was afraid that I might be right on this one, and a quick check on articles on this bizarre situation only served to confirm my worst fears.  Here is a quote I pulled directly from an article on the Associated Press.

Dr. Adam Katz, a professor of plastic surgery at the University of Virginia medical school, was incredulous when told about the Peruvian ring.

“I can’t see why there would be a black market for fat,” he said. “It doesn’t make any sense at all, because in most countries we can get fat so readily and in such amounts from people who are willing and ready to donate that I don’t see why there would ever be a black market for fat, of all tissues.”

 

“Donate it?” How cynical do you have to be?  What?  Do people walk in and say, “Please take this lard of my hips so, across the globe, an unwitting woman can place it on her lips?”  If there were ever a doubt that the cosmetic industry and the plastic surgery industry see women as life-stock, as fuel for their machine, then this quote makes matters clear.

 

We need to consider: at what price beauty? I’m all in favor of cosmetics.  I’ve been known to use them liberally as an art-form, a form of self-expression, or just as a pick-me-up.  But surely I do not want the product of another woman’s suffering on my skin.  I am personally not a fan of plastic surgery, especially not of liposuction, but I am not trying to pass judgment on another for what they feel compelled to do.

 

What needs to be judged heavily, and needs to be more heavily regulated, is the industry that exploits and uses us so casually.  It’s all well and good to arrest a rouge bunch of sickies in Peru, but who is doing anything about all the “respectable” professionals doing the very same thing every day?  Notice that no buyers have yet been identified.  I am digging, and if I manage to uncover names, I will re-post a list.

 

We can’t wait on government to do this for us, ladies, so wake up!  So long as we cooperate, we will be used and sucked dry to put a penny in someone else’s hollow pocket.  Many of us have greater financial freedom than we have ever had.  Let’s use our pennies wisely.  Let’s finance freedom.  Let’s stop paying a fortune for pretentious cosmetics made for us, from us.  Let’s do our research and buy plant-based products.  Be weary of the word “organic.”  We are organic.  Look for plant-based products.

 

But most of all, ladies, let’s stop buying the hype.  We’re all beautiful.  Some maybe fit the common “aesthetic” more than others, and it doesn’t matter a hill of beans.

We’re all going to get wrinkles..the more we smile the better.

We’re all going to get crows-feet..the more we wink the better.

We’re all going to get chubby..the more to hold onto the better (ask a man if you don’t believe me–a good one).

Want to get a nice blush on your cheeks?  Do some healthy exercise (sex is my personal favorite).

Wear confidence, not a mask, and you will blow people’s minds.

Be strong.

Be proud.

And stop being a product.

 

In the words of the infinitely knowledgeable Philosopher of the 20th Century:

I’m no model lady. A model’s just an imitation of the real thing.  — Mae West

 

…and that’s a Penny for Your Thoughts

 

If you missed my previous post on beauty and make-up:  see it again!

A Picture Paints a Thousand Words a Video Clip Paints a Million

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Change is Good..and Lacy! November 3, 2009

So.  I couldn’t believe it.  My hubby saw it.  He’s a marvel that way, always seeing what I miss.  Love that man.

Anywho…

We’re overseas right now and watching foreign TV.  I’m working on my computer in my comfy-clothes, probably not looking my best right now, and he says: “Change..change your bra!”

Strange thing to say, right? Rife with peril for the male.  He’s brave that way.

Instead of ripping his heart out with my fingernails, I decided to be calm and rational.  So I asked him just what the heck he was talking about.  Which proves that PMS doesn’t run me..I run on it!

So here’s what my hubby meant.  ‘CHANGE,’ the actual word is now a registered trademark (Actually it seems it has been since 1995.)

Yep.  You heard me.  TRADE-mark.  As in selling ‘Change.’  So I think, OK, maybe you could sell ideas for positive change in society, change in lifestyles, change of technology..I dunno some good change.  Nope. It turns out CHANGE (R) is a company that sells bras…  YES–BRAS–LIKE FOR YOUR BOOBS.  Don’t believe me? Link here:

Change is Good...and comes in A cup through EEE!

Change is Good...and comes in A-cup through EEE-cup; in a variety of colors and styles and even has lace!

So now we know, ladies, change is not only coming..change is here!

Don’t get me wrong, I love a lacy bra as much as the next man, but somehow my dream of a brighter future for women took a hit when I read quotes like:

At Change, we respect your natural beauty. That’s why our lingerie doesn’t dictate how your body should look or promise a whole new you. What it will do is give you a variety of styles in a fit that feels just right. It’s all about feeling beautiful. So feel free to express yourself. To explore the different facets of your femininity. And the woman within.

This is the philosophy behind Change and the key to our success.

 

The people at Change (R) were even nice enough to plan my week for me:

 

Every day, a new Pair...oooh I'm giddy!

Every day, a new Pair...oooh I'm giddy!

 

It makes a girl warm inside to know that someone is looking out for her this way. And the people of CHANGE (R) are committed to ensuring our ongoing happiness.  They state it clearly in their Motto:

YOU. ONLY BETTER.

So now you know.  Your cup size DOES matter.  If we are going to have any CHANGE (R) in our lives, we should consider a Balconette.

There’s even a new line out for 2009 called CHARADE – ’nuff said.

I’d feel short-changed, except that might make me sound a little bitter.  After all, it’s probably nothing.  I just need a better bra.

…and that’s a Penny for Your Thoughts

 

 

Are you there God? It’s me, Penny. October 18, 2009

In honor of the woman my mother wouldn’t let me read for fear I might figure out periods and commas! No flower can bloom without a dose of Blume. (You can bet this rebel with a cause was reading it in secret anyway so there mom :-p)


My body is changing and I don’t know how to manage it.  I’m not thin like I was before.  Weight just seems to show up each morning from nowhere, no matter what I eat. OK, you see all, you see me nibble on chocolate.  But c’mon!  It’s not any more than I usually ate?  OK, it’s more, but c’mon!  I just lost my job..I..just lost my business for heaven’s sake, and now you want me to start over without a chocolate high to keep me sane!?  You’d better send me a sign.  You did it for Moses.  You did it for Sarah.  Why not for Penny?  It wouldn’t have to be a big sign either.  No parting of seas or great bolts of lightning.  Nothing scary.  I am freaked out enough as it is.

Tell me what to do with my hair.  That would work.  For a start.  Is long hair really not the thing to do at 40?  Hubby likes it.  Or so he says, but you know him.  He’s so sweet.  He says everything is perfect, even when we both know it’s not.  Should I get a perm?  Will that cheer me up?  Highlights?  My hair has gone dull dishwater blond again.  What a horrible name for a hair color.  Who the heck came up with that?  Hairstylists wanting to push Highlights, that’s who.  “Ooooooh, you have such an interesting shade of blond.” they coo, “It’s pretty.  Dishwater Blond, but very rich.  It could be nicer with some highlights, of  course…”  Boom! Sold.  You know me.  I’m very open to suggestions.

I don’t know why I get up in the morning.  I used to get up at the crack of dawn, knowing I was Queen of the World, Empress of my Domain, you remember?  Yes, with the Power Suits and the PowerBook, armed and ready to Divide and Conquer my Territory.  If I wasn’t supposed to have gone into the sales thing, why didn’t you tell me sooner?  If I was supposed to be a homemaker like mom, why didn’t you just shoot me down when I first started.  I would have taken the hint?  You let me rise to the top, and then be thrown off a cliff.  That was just plain mean.

OK.  Sorry.  Not really your fault.  Free-Will and all that.  Fine.  My fault.  But what now?  What comes next?  You have got to send me a sign. How about using Twitter? I’m on Twitter…are you?  Yep.  I have become a Twit.  Or is it Twitterer..I don’t know yet.  Just getting to know this stuff.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to start again?  I guess you do, with the Great Flood and all that.

So, I’ve been loyal and faithful and good and kind, and done what I was supposed to do, so could you possibly find a minute to let me know what comes next?  I realize it’s a big universe, and I am only a tiny spec, but could you please, pleeeeeeaaaaassse, take a second for little ol’ Penny, and tell me for starters, do I get the perm and the highlights or just cut the whole thing off?