In honor of the woman my mother wouldn’t let me read for fear I might figure out periods and commas! No flower can bloom without a dose of Blume. (You can bet this rebel with a cause was reading it in secret anyway so there mom :-p)
My body is changing and I don’t know how to manage it. I’m not thin like I was before. Weight just seems to show up each morning from nowhere, no matter what I eat. OK, you see all, you see me nibble on chocolate. But c’mon! It’s not any more than I usually ate? OK, it’s more, but c’mon! I just lost my job..I..just lost my business for heaven’s sake, and now you want me to start over without a chocolate high to keep me sane!? You’d better send me a sign. You did it for Moses. You did it for Sarah. Why not for Penny? It wouldn’t have to be a big sign either. No parting of seas or great bolts of lightning. Nothing scary. I am freaked out enough as it is.
Tell me what to do with my hair. That would work. For a start. Is long hair really not the thing to do at 40? Hubby likes it. Or so he says, but you know him. He’s so sweet. He says everything is perfect, even when we both know it’s not. Should I get a perm? Will that cheer me up? Highlights? My hair has gone dull dishwater blond again. What a horrible name for a hair color. Who the heck came up with that? Hairstylists wanting to push Highlights, that’s who. “Ooooooh, you have such an interesting shade of blond.” they coo, “It’s pretty. Dishwater Blond, but very rich. It could be nicer with some highlights, of course…” Boom! Sold. You know me. I’m very open to suggestions.
I don’t know why I get up in the morning. I used to get up at the crack of dawn, knowing I was Queen of the World, Empress of my Domain, you remember? Yes, with the Power Suits and the PowerBook, armed and ready to Divide and Conquer my Territory. If I wasn’t supposed to have gone into the sales thing, why didn’t you tell me sooner? If I was supposed to be a homemaker like mom, why didn’t you just shoot me down when I first started. I would have taken the hint? You let me rise to the top, and then be thrown off a cliff. That was just plain mean.
OK. Sorry. Not really your fault. Free-Will and all that. Fine. My fault. But what now? What comes next? You have got to send me a sign. How about using Twitter? I’m on Twitter…are you? Yep. I have become a Twit. Or is it Twitterer..I don’t know yet. Just getting to know this stuff. Do you have any idea how hard it is to start again? I guess you do, with the Great Flood and all that.
So, I’ve been loyal and faithful and good and kind, and done what I was supposed to do, so could you possibly find a minute to let me know what comes next? I realize it’s a big universe, and I am only a tiny spec, but could you please, pleeeeeeaaaaassse, take a second for little ol’ Penny, and tell me for starters, do I get the perm and the highlights or just cut the whole thing off?